 Purple Monkey PitHello and welcome friends and foe from all over this oil tainted place we call home…. OK. OK. I get it. I promise not to turn this into a political blog. Never the less here we are in a world ran on fuel from the world we live in and pay dearly for it. OK I'm really done this time. This last week got off to a slow start when I left all my buddies at Lake Bridgeport where we had a blast and drank too much all the way into the wee hours of the morning on Fri. Boy that was a beautiful sunrise. Upon wakening at 10am we realized that we are too old to continuously run down the dock onto the back of a boat tied up and jump with all might trying to pull off a gainer. TRUST ME that WON'T happen again! Thanks for the lesson Winston. (Winston is a red-bearded, beer drinkin wild man who just got home from Alaska where his lovely wife Marcy was running a marathon. I really don't understand the running thing but if I was going to I guess there's plenty of BIG bears in Alaska that could make me a pretty quick guy.) It was time to meet the guys and I had about an hour and a half of driving ahead of me that did not look good at that point. Then as if that wasn't enough I met the Mo and the boy's for a 3 ½ hour adventure into west Texas. I believe that this was the longest trip I've ever taken. It seemed like we drove for days. We finally arrived and got loaded in and a miracle happened. (No my hangover didn't go away) We completed load in and sound check in an hour. Thank you Mario. (Mario is a slightly Latino Virgo who likes Fur's cafeteria, shallow conversation, mud bogging, and has great timing with quotes from Dewey Cox.) Mario was our sound man of sound this weekend. He could make a band at a tractor pull sound good. (Little did we know that we would be that band before the weekend was over) The Big spring show was a fun one. There were lots of folks and the bar was complimented by a firework stand in the parking lot. (Before you ask, Yes) We definatley look forward to going back again. The thing we don't look forward to is the drive. I'm not sure why but that was a beating. (Not quite like the beating we took doing gainers but close) Jake sat out this trip due to getting lost in one of his oversized t-shirts so we had the pleasure of having Josh from Speedtrucker sit in. (Josh is a really good player who if anyone knows anyone with a side window to a 95 Ford Econoline van, needs one.) I think the good joke came on the way back from Big Spring when we stopped at a convenience store where there were some really rough looking girls in a jeep. (By rough I don't mean the manly scrapping type but the rough where the dry rotted tires on the jeep could go farther in a beauty contest.) Upon seeing this Mario and I started singing Living La Vida Loca….. (does that make us gay????....... I didn't think so either….) Not sure why but we got a pretty good laugh out of it. We finally got to Weatherford to get my truck, then to Arlington to get Todd's truck and Josh's windowless van. Then we all met back up in Dallas at Shuck & Jive's. Shuck & Jive is a little bit of Fort Worth located on Greenville Avenue, which makes it pretty cool in my book. From there we left for East Texas which, trust me, was a treat. We drove for about an hour and a half when we arrived at one of the most back woods places I've ever been. (Yes even back woods for me.) Nope not a pig giggin. Nope not a goat ropin either. YES it was a MUD BOG! We arrived at the lower place Motor sports arena where there was plenty of mud to be bogged. I looked like a lost bird dog (you know, the head cocked sideways looking like where the hell are we at?) when the announcer called for a driver's meeting. Little did I know that there are rules as to how and when you drive your 4x4 into a really long pit of mud. Mo insisted that the missed opportunity was not bringing my 4 wheel drive dually. I argued and understood, for the second time this week, the redneck implications he applied towards me. (OK Mo I agree I'm a redneck already!) After all I did know I was in for a treat. We had a couple of beers and checked out all the extreme 4x4's and fast track cars while they were still clean and were off to the stands for the races. (By stands I mean the side of the hill that over-looked the 1/8th mile track.) Yes it was safe because there was a guard rail between us and the trucks. The races were cool for the first hour or so but then I was more interested in beer and the bottle of Jack I left in the van. We were told to be there at 6pm and we were to start at 10-10:30 and play till 12:30-1:00. We arrived on time but did not start on time. After a lot of confusion as to where exactly we were to set up we figured out we weren't going to until after the races. We sat around till around 11:00 and must have watched 100 or so trucks go screaming through the night air, and mud. They brought us a couple of flat beds to set up on and then they would move us around in front of the folks. (By folks I mean 3-400 screaming, drunken, over-all clad, mud bogging beings that were waiting on a band.) We FINALLY started playing around 12:30. All because some asshole that was told he couldn't run his truck did so anyways and flipped it over on its side in the middle of the pit. (It was kinda cool!) (I told you I was enjoying it!) We really did have a good time except for the wait. The show was a tough one though because we didn't have enough power to run our monitors at the level we were accustomed to but we played through it like 4 troopers in the muddy night. I think the highlight of the evening was when the announcer took a pull off of his flask and made the announcement "If anyone in the audience has a welder in their truck you are needed in the Purple Monkey Pit" Now there's something you don't hear very often! Folks, if that's not an ender I don't know what is. This story has been drawn out, in true Rob fashion, long enough. Until next time, Peace and Jelly Beans!
P.S. If anyone ever goes to a mud bog, take a welder so you can tell me about this purple monkey pit…..
Jul 11, 2008 | 0 comments
There's A Redneck In The BandHello Folks, and thanks for once again joining us for life and times of our tails on the road. This week we played Friday night at The Flying Pig in Lewisville Texas. (I informed yall Lewisville was in Texas not to insult your intelligence but in case by some far fetched chance that there might actually be someone out of state reading this.) The Flying Pig is a pretty cool roadhouse type bar with lots of dart boards, great cheeseburgers, and a couple of pool tables that get replaced with a band from time to time. Thats where we come in. I do have to say we got the best service ever in a bar by an eager to please waitress named Courtney who literally came running every time we asked for drinks and such. We unusually had a sound guy at this show. His name was Herg. Herg's a really cool guy who really knows how to make a band sound good while occasionally napping on the sound board. (Good thing he doesn't drool!) Mo played an acoustic show Sat. night hich left me open to attending a wedding for one of Val's friends. On Sun. Mo paid the great Justin Frazzell a visit for the Live from the front porch show on 99.5 the Wolf. Thats when Mo realized that there's a redneck in the band. See, on Fri. I had to haul a trailer home from my normal job in order to move a tractor over the weekend. So I decided that instead of driving home to Crowley from Euless that I would just go from Euless to Lewisville and take the trailer with me. That's when I found out that Val had decided to go to the show. It was too late for me to go home to get her so I decided that she would drive herself to the show and I would load her Jeep on the trailer and haul it home so that she wouldn't have to drive home by herself. After loading the Jeep at the end of the night and a couple of pretty good jokes from some appreciative spectators' Mo asks "Hey you wanna go to the radio show on Sun. and hang out and drink some beers while I play?" I asked "What time?" Mo Says "7:00" and after carefull thought I said "Well, I appreciate the invite but I think that gives me time to catch the nascar race at 4:00, mow the yard and take a dip in the pool while I have a rum & coke and float around while listening to the show on the radio!" (And just like that my Sun. was planned.) Mo responds in a redneck acusing tone "NASCAR!?" I proudly replied "I drive a dually that at the moment has a jeep strapped down behind it. What part of this redneck picture makes you think I wouldn't like Nascar?" He quickly was left speechless and after a couple of laughs we were on our way. That being said. The weekend was concluded in the EXACT order that I had planned. And Mo did a great job at the Frazzell compound. I must appologize to those of you who expect to read this on a weekly basis. I skipped last week due to my grandfather's passing. He was a great man and a major part of my life. I recieved this news on a Friday night after a show in Corpus. The next day we were to play in Laredo, and Sun. we were to float the river and watch Mo play an acoustic show in San Antonio. I played the show Sat. night as my papa would've wanted me to but believe me when I say it was lots of alcohol that got me through it. Val met me in New Braunsfels on Sun. morning and we immediately came home to face the news. Never the less I wasn't up to writing much. But however there were a few notable moments to mention. Jake & I found out that the gulf of mexico makes your clothes stink, we bought a cross-eyed hoola girl for the dash who enjoys getting smacked around , (that explains the eyes) and I now know where the R O in Rob derives from.(Thank you Jake) (I'll have to explain some other time) Well, thats about it for now, yall tune in nextime for some really interesting tales of our "Tails on The Road." Peace and jelly beans to all and keep safe.
Jun 27, 2008 | 0 comments
Long WayWell Hello folks and welcome again to the stories and mis-adventures of our "Tails on the Road." This week started off on Thursday as I filled in for Paul, who plays for the Todd Mankin Band, at a show in Cleburne Texas, The home of Randy Rogers. It cracks me up because every time I meet someone who has graced the Johnson County line with their presence on any of my musical journeys are more than proud to ask "Is Crowley close to Cleburne? Do you know Randy Rogers? Well (to my surprise) I was actually there for about an hour before anyone mentioned it. Never the less this show was a kind of battle of the bands for 92.1 which is the local country music station. For those of you who have listened in and also heard Todd's music you are probably wondering.... How did those two get together... Me too.... Thats ok though we lost respectfully had a few illeagle brews in the park we were at, and moved on.(when I say illeagle I meen no offence, our beers actually had green cards and were not illeagle in that since but the since that they were not allowed in that park. See Cleburne is afraid of these beers and actually strive to make new laws in order to keep new beers out as well as drive out the old ones. I think we should end this strife and love these beers as they were our own. Maybe rally or something. But whatever we do we must not give in to this cities evil ways of locking them out. YOU HAVE A VOICE SO USE IT!!) Sorry did I take off on a tangent there? Todd and his crew are really cool guys and I consider them all friends and wish the best for them. On Friday I met Mo at his apartment in the Lovely Denton Texas. After meeting his storage room and loading up the trailer we were off. We were not across the city limits sign before Mo broke out his his new MP3 player. (along with all of the necessary components to make it work in our tape player in the van) (Just kidding Mo, The van is awesome) So for the next couple of hours I was to be entertained by "80GB of Good Music Past and Present" By Mo Robson! (for those of you who are wondering what 80GB is it meens a whole lotta room for storing shit, music in this case) as soon as we got out of traffic and were on 35 headin North the first song out of the box was AC/DC Long way to the top. I was instantly excited about the trip and all kinds of fired up with possibly a new favorite road trip song. Thanks Mo! It was just Mo & I going up to Tulsa, due to scheduling conflicts so we met up with Todd & Jake at Cains for our show. Yes I did say Cain's. As in Cain's Ballroom. As in probably the coolest room I've ever played. there was memorabilia of Willie, Waylon, Bob Wills, and just about anyone else you can imagine, plastered everywhere. We were in good company! Before the show we decided to walk to a resturaunt a couple of blocks down that was also rich with music history. That it was. There were Pics of Jimmie Hendrix, Paul and the rest of the Beatles, Johnny Cash and numerous others all in formal attire. Yep I said Formal attire. Mo was napping in the Van so it was Todd, Jake & I at dinner and before my tea could be delivered Jake said something about Mexican food across the street and we were off! This was more than fine with me because we were way under dressed for this place. Jake was wearing Blue jeans, Flip Flops, and a shirt that was so big that he kinda reminded me of a house being fumigated for termites. Todd was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, and I was actually wearing an old t-shirt, Tennie runners and swimming trunks.. Yes swimming trunks... Not the kind that look like normal shorts but the kind with great big bright red and yellow flowers on them, not to mention the tell-tale white ribbon trim and holes at the bottom of all the pockets so the water can get out. I actually, in that moment felt like I myself was going to leak out of those holes. THANK YOU JAKE & TODD for planning my excape. (gives me confidence that IF I ever get sent to jail wearing assless chaps you'll be there for me!) Margarita fiesta across the street! Finally it was time to play. We changed clothes in the van and were ready. The show was fun and we give thanks to Jake's girlfriend Tonya for bringing out her friends and family from Tulsa, Who made up most of our audience. After the show we hung around for awhile and finally got on the road for Ft. Smith Arkansas. This was one of my favorite parts of the trip because I had woke up Valarie back at home and told her about the show and let her know I was alive and was talking to Mo & Todd about the slim chance of finding a Whataburger on the way. AND THERE IT WAS! That beautiful glowing red W in the sky that we've came to adore. (I'm looking forward to our Corpus trip so I can pick me up a fancy ketchup t-shirt.. cool huh!) I had a Sausage BOB with cheese as well as a taq. and fries instead of grease patty. Needless to say we were all good! Anyways, back to the drive. I felt inclined to drive because I just enjoy it for one, and B its just fun... It was driving listening to Mo's plethora of music, I think I picked Billy Joe Shaver for the drive. my window was down the guys were dozing off and it was just me, Billy Joe & the road. Pretty cool in my book. We arrived in Ft. Smith about 3am and as we were rolling through town we noticed that the town was still awake. There was a whole patio just crammed full of people that ended up being at a bar about a block away from the hotel we were at. Once we were checked in Todd went to sleep as Mo and I were still wide awake. You guessed it we were on to people watch at a bar called Roosters which is one of Ft. Smith's busiest bars in the 3-5am hours. We spoke to one of the more akward people I've ever met on the road who was the self proclaimed queen of stink and deemed herself the peppy le pieu of Ft. Smith. yep I'm still speechless too....... She was kinda diggin Mo's chili though........Sorry I couldn't resist.. After a quick couple of hours of sleep we were up again and hungry. (Imagine that) We had lunch at a pretty cool place there on the strip and we made a few new friends. then it was off to the Hotel for naps and showers. We made it to Rockabilly's about 2 min after we left the hotel since it was almost 100 yds away. We had a good show, played a few rounds of pool with a couple of locals, shot sum shit up at the big buck hunter video game and the evening was over. Almost... We decided to take one last trip to Roosters just because where else can you do that. And I think we all went back to the hotel individually due to consumption issues. The next morning I woke up Mo and Todd, who was histerical to me because he had one shoe off and the other stuck on due to a knot or something and had to sleep in his pants as a result. I really found this funny. Todd not so much..Sorry man! We were finally off for the long drive home when we stopped for gas and a quick bite at mickey d's where we met a gentleman who was anouncing to the whole gas station/resturaunt that he was leaving his wife, when someone said, "not here I hope." I had to chime in and ask, why??? His response was because she went out last night and came home with a HICKEY! At that point Todd & I couldn't hold it in and laughed harder than we had on the entire trip!. Finally I drove the first leg and we were well into OK when we stopped for a restroom break where Todd took over. If you ever get the chance to drive up 75 into OK to Tulsa, it is a nice drive & I recommend you do it with the windows down and Mo's IPOD jammin. I don't know who's idea it was to make the bench seat in the back of custom vans fold into a bed, but that was genious. Laters for now Y'all tune in in a couple of weeks as we once again get our Tails on the Road. Peace & Jelly Beans Y'all!
May 30, 2008 | 0 comments
Good TimesHello again Folks I guess y'all are wondering what has gotten in to me putting two blogs out this week. Let's just call it fun. I started out this trip with a phone call from Moe telling me we were leaving Amarillo as soon as we finished to get home. My first thought was cool it's been awhile since I pulled an all-nighter. Thats when memories set in. I instantly thought of my old friend Jeff. He was the friend for me that everyone has, which he also was to numerous others, that would on a whim take off work for a road trip and at some point you were most certain to see the sun come up. We all thought he was a little crazy, not that most of us aren't, and some would even call him wreckless for the fact that he was so spontaneous. I now think that all along he knew how short life can be so he lived for chance. I'm sure not all of his shenanigans ended up good, but the ones that did were pure greatness. Most of which were the kind of memories that our grandkids tell their friends about long after we're gone. He was the king of Chance, not the chance that we might die or end up in jail or jobless, but the chance that we may just enjoy ourselves and come home with some of the greatest memories of our life. SO! I met the rest of the band in Denton at Mo's apartment to make the long drive to Amarillo. On the way I finally watched Apacollipse Now, which I'm pretty sure I spelled wrong for those of you who are gradeing this, I'm not sure about that movie. I know it's supposed to be one of the greatest of all time but I found it weird. Almost disturbing. We ended up in Amarillo with enough time to eat at Hooters, Take a nap at the hotel Catch a shower and watch a couple of episodes of Scarred on Mtv. Hooters was cool but once again left me thinking of Jeff due to the fact that when I was playing with Mancy we all went there for someone's B-day and ended up being asked to leave... (Good Times). This was right before Jeff decided to have his picture taken on the Hooters horse. (for those of you who have never been to Amarillo there are horses all over town painted for the business that surround them and some just for looks.) Never the less we didn't take turns taking pictures because it had already been done by him. We played a pretty good show at Hoots Pub and started our journey home when we had to stop for our first real photo op. at what was a genious slogan for a hot dog stand. The local Wienerschnitzel had a giant banner that read, Big Wiener Deal 2 for .99, too funny to pass up but, we were on the road again. Not before a mandatory stop at Whataburger though. I had the usual Double Cheeseburger w/ grilled onions & jalapenos, large fries and lots of fancy ketchup, and a large DP. MMMMM MMMMM that'll shut your mouth good! Mo drove the first leg and I took over in Childress about 4:30. I was pretty tired but after a short walk I bought a large coffee and was ready to go. As we started driving I realized that in about an hour I would see the sun come up, which took me back to Jeff again and excited me. Mo was in charge of the radio and he found a pretty cool station in Wichita Falls before he fell asleep (I don't remember the number but they were called the Rebel.) We stopped for fuel there and boy was I craveing some eggs. I know, I'm strange right. SO I left out and watched the sun rise with all of the memories of Jeff in mind and felt refreshed. I can't quite explain it but those of you who knew him probably know exactly what I'm talking about. Where-ever you are amigo, rest in peace.. Almost three years later and we still miss you.. Peace & Jelly Beans!
May 30, 2008 | 1 comment
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